One thing I've realized is that my creative energy, my elevated levels of annoyance and my fits of anger and sometimes rage come in waves...
Somedays I can take on the world and I can do any and everything I set my mind too, and then there are days like today...I just want to crawl up in my black hole and look out into the blackness. Instead of doing that I remembered a declaration I made on this blog and that's to write an original post at least once a month for this blog. I'm doing it so I can feel like I'm consistent about SOMETHING, I'm also sticking to my declaration because this is my place of venting, the only place I feel comfortable coming and letting it all hang out. This morning I woke up tired, my alarm went off, I dismissed it, looked at the ceiling turned back over and forty minutes later I jumped up running late for work. I took the medicine Dr. U prescribed for me last month so I can sleep. I only took half a pill because the last time I took an entire pill it mollywhopped me! I had NO trouble getting to sleep after I took it, I just took it a little too late...you live and you learn and tonight I'll be taking that particular med at least forty mintues earlier than I took it last night.
Managing Moods:
The hardest problem I'm having with managing my moods is allowing people to invade my mood barrier. Like this bitch walked into my personal space today, talking about a random unimportant policy that I did not write nor did I agree with it but FUCK it I have to follow it. My position is to keep YOU up on policy, I'm not going to argue with you about it, I'm not going to enforce the policy. I'm simply going to remind you about the rules and keep it moving. The last thing you would ever want to do is bring your ass in here and try to "challenge me." We all have a job to do whether it's for a paycheck, or for pleasure and I'm not going to let you keep me from doing my job...I will however laugh with glee when you go against policy and it comes back to bite you in the ass.
In an effort to not remain in this place of anger, I'm going to set some new rules and boundaries concerning the things you bring to my office. I will not entertain idle chitter chatter from people I wouldn't fratinize with outside of work and if it's not directly related to my position/area then you gotta keep it moving.
Anyway, I shall build consistency one blog post at a time, I think this will also help me get back into the writer's mindset. I have a book I promised my big sister Linda I was going to write and I'm going to write it, if it's the last thing I do...My sister left this earth in May 2011, the last time we talked she asked about my book.
