Today

Today I trust him with my whole heart.
Today I can see the smiles of our brown skin babies.
Today I believe that it will be forever.
Today I believe that my soul has found what it's been searching for.
Today I believe that he loves me with no conditions.

We talked last night and he missed me just as much as I missed him. We're planning on taking a trip together soon, that should be nice.  He talks more, he talks more about what truly matters and that makes me happy.  He has anxiety sometimes and so do I, about the same things so we've decided to always share how we're feeling.
He shared, I listened...I heard everything he said but what stuck with me was when he said, "When I look at you all I see is PURE LOVE." I was speechless, that's hard to admit that I was SPEECHLESS.

Do I believe this is the real thing? Today I do.
Do I believe that this will last?  Today I do, for however long it's destined to last.
Do I believe in what we're builiding?  Today I do.

We took our time and became friends, he knew how I lived my life or should I say my lifestyle and it didn't phase him.  Today my "lifestyle" doesn't matter.  When I say lifestyle I mean my relationship practices, I've been practicing the art of open relationships since 2007.  I still believe in open relationships, but I will say this...I love him enough to devote my heart, my mind and my body to him and only him.  His love has been so consistent and strong that he didn't have to ask...I just dropped the others one by one. 

Today I'm not taking this journey alone.
Today I understand him a little bit more and he understands me more.
Today I am happy.
Today I am not in mania so how I feel is REAL and that brings tears of joy to my eyes.  Today I can truly look at this man and know the things I am declaring won't be regrets once mania is gone because mania isn't here.
This throwback Badu makes me smile! Enjoy it and I'll be off enjoying the rest of this pretty day, and a quiet evening with "Him"

Getting back on Track

The month of March was a weird one...that's the best way I can describe it.  I didn't blog, I wasn't "too busy" to blog, I simply had no desire for the most part.  So it's April and I have shit on my mind and as usual I have no particular person I feel comfortable talking this out with so I'll share it with the World Wide Web.  At least I can't see you're faces, no looks of pity or disbelief or that "this bitch really is crazy" look.  I need to avoid that right now so I'll be posting my entry for the month of April.

*Disclaimer* The blog post you see with the March date was published this morning, it's been sitting in my drafts since March 13, 2013.  I guess I didn't want to share what I was really feeling in that moment.  So technically I did blog I just didn't publish it.
*Shrugs shoulders*