As the world keeps on turning I feel out of place and off balance. You ever feel like that? I feel like I'm being held hostage, like circumstances have a gun to my head and it's a race to see who will survive. Survival of the fittess is what my mom use to say, I never really understood what she was trying to communicate to me because most of the time she spoke her own damn language. But today, and to me it means, if you don't get your shit together you will drown. If you don't get your shit together you will NOT win this race your running. If you don't get your shit together you will continously be a prisoner of that circumstance.
I wish I could just lay down and go to sleep and sleep. Without assistance from drugs and without interruption from a noisey mind. The "Black Republican" rubs my temples, speaks quietly, trys to make me smile, but he has never really experienced me in this space and it makes me sad because it makes him sad. His birthday is coming up, it's going to be a blast! He's special, at least he is to me. I think I got him the BEST GIFT EVER! I will post pictures and I planned us a weekend get-away! How cool is that?! You know just talking about him changed my mood...I'm smiling, which gives you a little insight into a Bipolar mind. When I started this damn post I was IN TEARS! Now I'm smiling...I'm Just Saying!
One thing I've never been is a slave to things/stuff and today that's exactly what I feel like...I realize that promises are made to be broken but it's a bitter pill to swallow when the promises made to YOU are the ones broken and it affects the way you live.
Anyway I'm doing good with my monthly post! I haven't missed one yet and I don't feel the pressure to write just anything. Although my last couple of posts have been rants, at least I'm sticking to my schedule.
