Well I tried to make that sound festive and happy! I know I've been M.I.A. for a while, but life yanked me by the neck and started dragging me at warp speed. During crazy ride a couple of things got neglected like EVERYTHING that makes me happy as far as creative outlets go. But in other news...I got engaged, we've set the date for 10/04/2014. We combined households...that's weird living with someone. I'm graduating from the University of Alabama on 12/14/13 and I am DRAINED. Mentally and physically drained. It kind of sneaks up on you but when it hits it takes you out. I'm walking around literally a shell of who I am.
EVERY.LITTLE.THING. AGITATES .ME
This is normally the time of year I hit that deep down paralyzing depression and although it hasn't hit me yet. I see the ugly bitch lurking in the background.
I'm annoyed because somewhere in my head I thought those closet to me would be happy for and proud of my accomplishments and they're not. It hurts, just a little. I will say this though, those most IMPORTANT to me are very proud of me.
I feel like I went on a trip and can't find my way home.
Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean everything is OK...it simply means I'm telling myself jokes in my head so I won't focus on how bad I want to punch you in the throat.
I need a vacation but because these doctors couldn't find out what was/is wrong with me I have NO vacation time left, running to appointment after appointment...FML and they still don't really know what's wrong.
I'm struggling, with career decisions. If I stay I will be able to earn my Masters Degree and use my tuition break to only pay half. I need two years before I'm vested and I can walk away with the money my company contributed to my retirement, not just my contributions. What's the problem you might ask? It's a THANKLESS job where you are UNAPPRECIATED. The environment drains me daily and it's getting to the point where is it affecting my mental well being...which means it is time. When I walk around with a blank stare on my face, void of any type of expression it is time.
Random Ramblings of an Unsettled mind
When you walked in, looked around and burst into tears, you showed me just how shallow and vain you are and it made me feel like I failed at my job.
I did it all for you.
I don't know what happened and I don't know how to fix it.
I think you are a jealous hearted privileged bitch, you don't deserve that professional title and you damn sure not earning your keep. Stop being so fucking nosy and DO SOMETHING....
You've disappointed me so many times I'm numb, by all means don't stop on my account.
I'm sorry means nothing to me....people use those two words like toilet paper. Take a shit on me, wipe it off with an "I'm sorry" then flush it down the toilet. I still smell like shit.
I feel really, really sad but I'm bipolar so eventually my mood will swing.
I need a vacation, I need a place to sit and cry, or yell and cuss
I want to laugh...I miss me.
I'm going to get you back, I don't know how just yet but please believe I will...I'm petty like that.
I want to scrapbook.
My cup is empty...
