Suffering in Silence...

I remember when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I wasn't surprised or shocked, I was humbled.  Then that turned into shame, I had heard people being referred to as Bipolar, or manic depressive or just plain old "crazy" and I always felt a sense of pity for them.  I pitted them because I knew they were suffering and being treated like outcasts for something they had absolutely no control over.  I was ashamed because now I'm being defined by a condition instead of who God created me to be.  I was ashamed because I had once ostracized people who suffered from mental illness. I was ashamed because I knew if I told anyone my secret, I too would be ostracized, cast aside and ridiculed.

The condition some how gets in the way of who we are and people began defining us by our condition.  It reminded me of the story in the bible of the woman with the issue of blood.  She had suffered for 12 long years and put all her hope in physicians but none of them could help her.  But God...She suffered so long with that issue of blood that when her story was told in the  bible she was referred to by her issue.  But God...the woman with the issue of blood convinced herself that if she could just touch the hem of His (Jesus) garment she would be made whole.  And so it began, her struggle to get to the healer.  *This is where my holy imagination kicks in*  She wakes up and looks at herself in the mirror, and in her head she's replaying all the hate that she has encountered as a result of her "issue" *remember in the bible when a woman is on her menstrual cycle she is deemed unclean*  The names, the dirty looks, the isolation, the gossip, all had to wear down on her, but with determination and courage she made her way to where Jesus was.  It was crowded to say the least, but she pushed her way through, knocking people out of her way, ignoring the hate that was being thrown her way.  She kept repeating to herself that "If I could just touch the hem of his garment, I know I will be made whole" and with determination and a desire so strong for healing she pressed on.  She made her way to Jesus and touched Him, He immediately felt strength leave His body and He turned around and asked "Who touched me?"  In trembling and fear she approached Him, fell down on her knees and told him her story.  Seeing her quiet desperation and unwavering faith, Jesus rewarded her faith and told her because of it she was HEALED! 

Although the woman with the issue of blood had seen many physicians none of them could help her, so she made her way to the ULTIMATE HEALER!!!  I'm not in anyway discouraging people who suffer with mental illness to not see there doctors but what I am saying is Healing is a gift that is bestowed upon doctors from God...PUSH PASS the hinderances, the blocks, the ridicule and the shame and make your way to a doctor.  It is time for us to start healing, although our "white elephant"will always be in the room at least we're not ignoring him and pretending that everything is "ok".  The time is now for us to STOP SUFFERING IN SILENCE!  If the woman with the issue, hadn't broke down and told Jesus her story, she'd still be suffering.  We need to tell our story first to ourselves, then to our doctors, and then to any and everyone you think may be suffering in silence.